Monday, January 11, 2016

Bismarck Brings the Heat


Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow
Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow,
Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow
Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow
Meow…Meow…Meow

Meow Mix was on Bismarck’s agenda, right next to an entry for a five-hour petting. Things were not going to plan, however. No loving hands were forthcoming. And Friskies had supplanted Meow Mix.
Bismarck brooded at his food bowl as he waited for his human to return.
You’d think the human would spring for something better than a plastic Ziploc container, he thought. If he were my pet, I’d treat him better. If he were my pet the world would be better.
Afterwards, Bismarck found a nice, comfy down green jacket to sit on. A simple minded human might have expected him to sit there anticipating his next feeding. Bismarck was not now hungry nor did he share with humans the singular preoccupation of living in any moment other than the present. However, within that present moment Bismarck could feel the warmth of the jacket seeping through his fur, the bustle of goose feathers jacket elevating him towards tranquility. He found within his heart the warmness that comes through genuine introspection. He found within his mouth the unpleasant sensation of a hair caught in his throat.
When Bismarck’s human came home he found Bismarck laying on his favorite down jacket, a hairball at his feet. The human’s first impulse was to become angry. This was followed more appropriately by guilt. “I can’t believe I left you home all day, just to sit there,” the human cried “you deserve better.” The human proceeded to hug Bismarck effusively. In the same way that a pin ruptures a balloon, the human effectively burst Bismarck’s peace. Bismarck would have scratched him were he not the kind, loving soul that he was.
That night Bismarck decided to show the human how to achieve the source of warmth with which he was so well acquainted. He began by sitting on the mat next to the tub while his human took a bath, providing emotional solace. Subsequently, he drank from the faucet as the human brushed his teeth. This action was performed to demonstrate to the human the importance of proper hygiene. At last, the human got into his lumpy queen bed. He proceeded to shiver and fidget. This is when Bismarck made his move.
With tender love and care he nuzzled up between the human’s knees. When the owner moved said knees Bismarck followed the movement to the small of the human’s back. When this wasn’t working for the human, Bismarck meandered over to the pillow and the top of the human’s head. Finally, the human displaced Bismarck from the bed.

Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow
Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow
Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow
Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow
All Night Long



  

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