The Bismarck and the Mom

Bismarck had heard the saying that a good defense is a good offense. Therefore whenever someone or something threatened him he called the him/her or it a dirt-eating weasel. Whenever the offending party happened to be a dirt-eating weasel…only then did he run.

Upon his introduction to The Paco and The Benny dogs The Bismarck hurled invective, compelling The Benny and The Paco to curl up in balls. Recognizing the Supremacy of The Cat, they shivered in the corners. Not one to let sleeping dogs lie, Bismarck sauntered over to those corners and told them the deal. “You don’t eat my food, you don’t get in my space, you don’t preclude me from nuzzling the humans and we’re good.” Benny and The Paco didn’t object. And so it was that they temporarily lost the capitalized article before their names.

Meanwhile there was a new addition to the house. Her name was The Mom and she didn’t take any shit from cats. That was Max’s job. It was he who had to scoop the litter box.

At first The Bismarck thought he might be able to control The Mom.

Let me lay a little charm, he thought. Nuzzle her a little, give her a nice little cat-eyed stare and I’ll have her eating out of my paw. It’ll be purrrrfecct.

And initially all went according to plan. The Bismarck would come, The Mom would scratch under his chin. He would meow and she would spoon out those good Friskies.

Then The Bismarck began to push his luck. He started demanding to be let out as often and as frequently as he liked. But since there was no cat door this meant leaving the front door and the utility room door both open. This would make The Mom cold and uncomfortable. It was a consideration that morally did not concern The Bismarck. It began to have social implications on him though. Gradually the Kay began closing the door at certain points, precluding The Bismarck’s passage outside. She then proceeded to limit Bismarck’s extra wet food to twice rather than thrice a day so that he wouldn’t grow fat.

Naturally the Bismarck grew furious. There is no justice in the world, he lamented in big, pleading meows. You’re a meanie and a human elitist and I don’t like you and I’m going to sulk.

The Mom, with two children, had experienced such behavior before. She waited patiently for Bismarck to vent out his frustration. It only took time, she knew, before the cooling airs of acceptance and equanimity began to filter in. And so they did.

Within The Mom’s lap, or by her head or next to her in bed, Bismarck found warmth and compassion. He realized in her something more than a wish of being outside. He found a dream of love and togetherness. And so it was that The Bismarck and The Mom lived happily and harmoniously ever after.