Bismarck's iRest Meditation

Bismarck didn't sleep. At least not when people were around. He couldn't risk one of them being an Austrian.
Nevertheless, there was time in between the humans being in and out of the house that Bismarck lacked options on what to do. During a certain time of day, let's say around 10pm, the main human would turn the lights off, curl into a ball and dream of hitting the Powerball.
Bismarck could bat the nearly lifeless human around for a while, leaving him with mysterious cuts and bruises when he awoke. This was a fun game to play. But after a few days it got old. Especially when the cuts and bruises precluded the human from prioritizing the concerns of his cat.
Still, Bismarck could not simply fall unconscious. In addition to the obvious Austrian threat he needed to be prepared for mice. When Bismarck first met the human he had made a promise. "You do everything for me, not short of risking your life to pull me from a burning building and I can promise you on at least two of my nine lives that no mouse shall enter the threshold."That Bismarck had skewed his tail while making this promise was immaterial, for he had a natural kink about half way up the catppendage. Also cats are at heart not liars. You can accuse then of being many things like awesome or beautiful or elegant or cunning. These accusations they will abide. But they never admit to tall tales. After all, how could they? When relative to many other tailed creatures cats are so close to the ground.
And so it was that Bismarck searched for a halfway but not halfhearted solution. He threw himself into dance but kept getting stepped on. He ate himself silly but didn't like feeling jejune. He worked, but didn't like getting paid (he learned from his whole tuna futures ordeal that money is not really something that interests a cat so long as chew toys remain a cheap commodity).
What's worse, doing all these activities Bismarck became exhausted. His body was melting and he needed downtime (especially the sort spent off his human's lap). Change was a-coming and not the sort that rattles incessantly in the front pockets of those careless humans who insist on always making themselves heard (presumably in the hopes of one day becoming big cat chow).
Gradually, Bismarck learned that one might close one's eyes and still remain alert. It dawned on him that being relaxed did not prevent one from experiencing the beauty of the sunlight as it ascended across the morning horizon. He might  shut his eyelids and remain aware. And so it was that Bismarck started in on his journey of self-enlightenment, one salutation at a time.